Drunken me doesn't respond well to people texting my phone with a "fuck you, asshole."
yeah, no. I'm still a nigga from Miami.
I did apologize, however. only so much I can do.
Cleaned out my room and getting rid of a TON of clothes. I have some shirts about 5 sizes too big that T got me when I was a kid. I'm keeping those. I wish I could hang them up somewhere.
Brittany really did an incredible job on the painting. It's hanging in my living room right now. I love it. The family loves it. I'm sure T respects you for it.
Herbie will always be my bestest friend ever. Hands down. No competition.
That's about it.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
I did a devo today
I've been wrestling with God on this subject and I ended up finding the perfect prayer for today in the Devo book KVG got for me.
God knows what He's doing.
I went to church and it was good. The band was OK. That's the Church Music Major in me talking...
The sermon was delivered by Trevor and it was good. I was convicted, however, of holding grudges. I need to do what I can to fix that. Pray for me, see it from their perspective, pray for them, move first, and then let it all go. Forgiveness is moving on. I need to move on. I was thinking during the sermon that I was holding a grudge against God and I should forgive Him. WHAT? I don't forgive GOD. I'm shocked I haven't been struck down by lightning for even having that thought.I need to ask God for forgiveness. I'm workin on it.
I went to church and it was good. The band was OK. That's the Church Music Major in me talking...
The sermon was delivered by Trevor and it was good. I was convicted, however, of holding grudges. I need to do what I can to fix that. Pray for me, see it from their perspective, pray for them, move first, and then let it all go. Forgiveness is moving on. I need to move on. I was thinking during the sermon that I was holding a grudge against God and I should forgive Him. WHAT? I don't forgive GOD. I'm shocked I haven't been struck down by lightning for even having that thought.I need to ask God for forgiveness. I'm workin on it.
I used to write all the time
But that was when I had times to actually feel anything.
This new hectic schedule that was going on in my life never allowed time for that.
So what happens when it all slows down?
I'm left to face what I hadn't faced before.
My heart is broken and everything in me just wishes my sister was here. T's gone and there's so much more I wish I could've done as her brother, but that times over and now I have to mourn and recuperate so I can jump back on my crazy schedule.
As much as I'd like for people to think I'm totally okay, I'm not. I've been drinking a lot to avoid dealing with this, but I ran out and now I'm broke.
So, what now? Now I have nothing else to turn to but God. Dammit.
My heart is broken and everything in me just wishes my sister was here. T's gone and there's so much more I wish I could've done as her brother, but that times over and now I have to mourn and recuperate so I can jump back on my crazy schedule.
As much as I'd like for people to think I'm totally okay, I'm not. I've been drinking a lot to avoid dealing with this, but I ran out and now I'm broke.
So, what now? Now I have nothing else to turn to but God. Dammit.
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