Throughout my entire life, you've been an incredible mother. You have a history of doing what's required and beyond when it comes to caring for your children. It's an incredible trait I pray will carry on to my own children when they come to be. One day. Not soon.
You've shown me how to live right by your example. I've been hearing recently about how wonderful of a man I've become. I'm not sure how much I agree with that (although I will accept a compliment however it comes to me). If it were to be true, I would have you to thank.
There's something you said to me recently that legitimately broke my heart to hear.
You said, "I don't need to celebrate Mother's Day. I couldn't even keep my daughter here. What kind of mother am I...?" And I replied, "You can't say that and then claim to trust God." That statement stands, mom. I know how your heart is broken, but I also know that God is in control of this situation. She's with Him now. As much as we miss her - as much as I miss her everyday, there's nothing that we can do to change that. But thank God she's no longer in pain. More than that, I thank God that I still have a beautiful, strong, wonderful, caring, God-fearing mother who constantly sets an example of how a legitimately good Christian should live out their life. Tamar was/is proud and so am I. I love you more than words could ever say.
Your son, J
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Monday, May 7, 2012
Debate :-)
F: If a guy can listen to music that freely degrades women, then what makes you think he respects you..?
J: He could just like to be ignant sometimes. *cough* Me *cough*
F: hi jj :) you are studying church music, so i assume you love the Lord, so how can someone who loves God and knows His will listen to that stuff and not feel convicted??
R: F... jugde not because whatever that person listen to does not means he or she is not of evil ...... But I do understand your love for our father but ask yourself did the lord judge u when u was listening to it....help people ...dont change them God bless u boo stay prayed up
F: im not here to judge R. but i am here to say that men that can listen to music that disrespects women and refers to women as a source of physical pleasure and entertainment, lack respect for women. would Jesus listen to that stuff..??
J: Music is a gift from God. One of the first occupations even listed in Genesis was a musician. Cool. And we know that God is glorified through our gifts no matter what we do. What I'm saying is that those ignorant rappers we choose NOT to listen to have received that gift to rap from God. All good things come from Him. While their text may not glorify Him, the fact that they have that talent to rhyme can only come from God. I know that's INCREDIBLY liberal, but I'll say it like this: there's so much more that goes on in music than its words. As a musician, I listen to MANY different genres and can appreciate them and draw from them inspiration I need to be a better musician. Do you think people like Lecrae would be around if it weren't for ignorant people before him? You think he didn't listen to that and try to apply the musicianship to his own life? That's all I'm saying.
And I'm also saying I can be ignant sometimes.
But at the same time, just because I listen to it doesn't mean that everyone is capable of listening to it and seeing it in such a way. That being said, I shouldn't listen to it with my brother or sister who is offended by it or who may stumble as a result of it. "I know and am convinced by the Lord Jesus that there is nothing unclean of itself; but to him who considers anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean. Yet if your brother is grieved because of your food, you are no longer walking in love. Do not destroy with your food the one for whom Christ died. Therefore do not let your good be spoken of as evil; for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit." (Romans 14:14-17 NKJV)
F: we are called to be like Jesus. so ill just say this, would Jesus listen to it? Yes, music is from God. what people choose to do it is what makes it good or bad. How can you support something that hurts God??
J: I really don't believe that music can hurt God. There's a scripture in Job I like to refer to on this topic: "Look up at the heavens and see; gaze at the clouds so high above you. If you sin, how does that affect him? If your sins are many, what does that do to him? If you are righteous, what do you give to him, or what does he receive from your hand? Your wickedness only affects humans like yourself, and your righteousness only other people." (Job 35:5-8 NIV) That being the case, I don't think any form of sin can hurt God. Of course God took sin upon Himself in the form of Jesus Christ, but His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts. I truly believe God is on a WHOLE nother level of thought process than we are. I feel like music is a great tool, but ultimately insignificant when compared to the Glory of God and His Holiness. I just don't see an ignorant rap song "hurting" God. Again, I'm not admonishing music that degrades women. I'm just saying I'll listen to a song or two and I probably won't feel convicted about it because it doesn't really bother me. Yes, it's ignorant; however, I know how I am with women and I know it is nothing like songs typically sung about women today. But this same argument can be said about going to watch rated R movies. I really believe it depends on one's own personal convictions. If you can, cool. If you can't, cool. All the same to me.
Also, I love talking about this kind of stuff. :-)
J: He could just like to be ignant sometimes. *cough* Me *cough*
F: hi jj :) you are studying church music, so i assume you love the Lord, so how can someone who loves God and knows His will listen to that stuff and not feel convicted??
R: F... jugde not because whatever that person listen to does not means he or she is not of evil ...... But I do understand your love for our father but ask yourself did the lord judge u when u was listening to it....help people ...dont change them God bless u boo stay prayed up
F: im not here to judge R. but i am here to say that men that can listen to music that disrespects women and refers to women as a source of physical pleasure and entertainment, lack respect for women. would Jesus listen to that stuff..??
J: Music is a gift from God. One of the first occupations even listed in Genesis was a musician. Cool. And we know that God is glorified through our gifts no matter what we do. What I'm saying is that those ignorant rappers we choose NOT to listen to have received that gift to rap from God. All good things come from Him. While their text may not glorify Him, the fact that they have that talent to rhyme can only come from God. I know that's INCREDIBLY liberal, but I'll say it like this: there's so much more that goes on in music than its words. As a musician, I listen to MANY different genres and can appreciate them and draw from them inspiration I need to be a better musician. Do you think people like Lecrae would be around if it weren't for ignorant people before him? You think he didn't listen to that and try to apply the musicianship to his own life? That's all I'm saying.
And I'm also saying I can be ignant sometimes.
But at the same time, just because I listen to it doesn't mean that everyone is capable of listening to it and seeing it in such a way. That being said, I shouldn't listen to it with my brother or sister who is offended by it or who may stumble as a result of it. "I know and am convinced by the Lord Jesus that there is nothing unclean of itself; but to him who considers anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean. Yet if your brother is grieved because of your food, you are no longer walking in love. Do not destroy with your food the one for whom Christ died. Therefore do not let your good be spoken of as evil; for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit." (Romans 14:14-17 NKJV)
F: we are called to be like Jesus. so ill just say this, would Jesus listen to it? Yes, music is from God. what people choose to do it is what makes it good or bad. How can you support something that hurts God??
J: I really don't believe that music can hurt God. There's a scripture in Job I like to refer to on this topic: "Look up at the heavens and see; gaze at the clouds so high above you. If you sin, how does that affect him? If your sins are many, what does that do to him? If you are righteous, what do you give to him, or what does he receive from your hand? Your wickedness only affects humans like yourself, and your righteousness only other people." (Job 35:5-8 NIV) That being the case, I don't think any form of sin can hurt God. Of course God took sin upon Himself in the form of Jesus Christ, but His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts. I truly believe God is on a WHOLE nother level of thought process than we are. I feel like music is a great tool, but ultimately insignificant when compared to the Glory of God and His Holiness. I just don't see an ignorant rap song "hurting" God. Again, I'm not admonishing music that degrades women. I'm just saying I'll listen to a song or two and I probably won't feel convicted about it because it doesn't really bother me. Yes, it's ignorant; however, I know how I am with women and I know it is nothing like songs typically sung about women today. But this same argument can be said about going to watch rated R movies. I really believe it depends on one's own personal convictions. If you can, cool. If you can't, cool. All the same to me.
Also, I love talking about this kind of stuff. :-)
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Saturday, April 28, 2012
got in a tiff
Drunken me doesn't respond well to people texting my phone with a "fuck you, asshole."
yeah, no. I'm still a nigga from Miami.
I did apologize, however. only so much I can do.
Cleaned out my room and getting rid of a TON of clothes. I have some shirts about 5 sizes too big that T got me when I was a kid. I'm keeping those. I wish I could hang them up somewhere.
Brittany really did an incredible job on the painting. It's hanging in my living room right now. I love it. The family loves it. I'm sure T respects you for it.
Herbie will always be my bestest friend ever. Hands down. No competition.
That's about it.
yeah, no. I'm still a nigga from Miami.
I did apologize, however. only so much I can do.
Cleaned out my room and getting rid of a TON of clothes. I have some shirts about 5 sizes too big that T got me when I was a kid. I'm keeping those. I wish I could hang them up somewhere.
Brittany really did an incredible job on the painting. It's hanging in my living room right now. I love it. The family loves it. I'm sure T respects you for it.
Herbie will always be my bestest friend ever. Hands down. No competition.
That's about it.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
I did a devo today
I've been wrestling with God on this subject and I ended up finding the perfect prayer for today in the Devo book KVG got for me.
God knows what He's doing.
I went to church and it was good. The band was OK. That's the Church Music Major in me talking...
The sermon was delivered by Trevor and it was good. I was convicted, however, of holding grudges. I need to do what I can to fix that. Pray for me, see it from their perspective, pray for them, move first, and then let it all go. Forgiveness is moving on. I need to move on. I was thinking during the sermon that I was holding a grudge against God and I should forgive Him. WHAT? I don't forgive GOD. I'm shocked I haven't been struck down by lightning for even having that thought.I need to ask God for forgiveness. I'm workin on it.
I went to church and it was good. The band was OK. That's the Church Music Major in me talking...
The sermon was delivered by Trevor and it was good. I was convicted, however, of holding grudges. I need to do what I can to fix that. Pray for me, see it from their perspective, pray for them, move first, and then let it all go. Forgiveness is moving on. I need to move on. I was thinking during the sermon that I was holding a grudge against God and I should forgive Him. WHAT? I don't forgive GOD. I'm shocked I haven't been struck down by lightning for even having that thought.I need to ask God for forgiveness. I'm workin on it.
I used to write all the time
But that was when I had times to actually feel anything.
This new hectic schedule that was going on in my life never allowed time for that.
So what happens when it all slows down?
I'm left to face what I hadn't faced before.
My heart is broken and everything in me just wishes my sister was here. T's gone and there's so much more I wish I could've done as her brother, but that times over and now I have to mourn and recuperate so I can jump back on my crazy schedule.
As much as I'd like for people to think I'm totally okay, I'm not. I've been drinking a lot to avoid dealing with this, but I ran out and now I'm broke.
So, what now? Now I have nothing else to turn to but God. Dammit.
My heart is broken and everything in me just wishes my sister was here. T's gone and there's so much more I wish I could've done as her brother, but that times over and now I have to mourn and recuperate so I can jump back on my crazy schedule.
As much as I'd like for people to think I'm totally okay, I'm not. I've been drinking a lot to avoid dealing with this, but I ran out and now I'm broke.
So, what now? Now I have nothing else to turn to but God. Dammit.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)